House Sitting stories

In my attempts to still live on 34$ a day, I’ve taken up the new hobby (job?) of house sitting. I use a website called TrustedHousesitters where I had a bunch of friends/family/etc write reviews/recommendations saying that I’m a “good person” (Insert joke here).

House sitting is when you watch someone’s house while they go on fancy vacations. In exchange for someone watching their house- I get free room and wifi. I can’t complain. It’s a nice gig! In all the ones I’ve worked, you watch/take care of their precious beasts as well.

The following is a story about said beasts.

I met these owners before hand to meet their beasts and get a tour of the town. They really went above and beyond in making me feel good about being the honorary owner of their 6 dogs. (SIX). Most people would say this is an overwhelming amount of dog– but each and every one has adorable characteristics and I find myself missing them now and then.

Especially the poodle/terrier-mix- who’s farts were so vile that it made me gag more than once. (And I’ve been to India!)

BACK TO THE STORY!

When I (finally) arrived, I was still bruised and beat up due to my car accident. The doctor said “no physical activity! Don’t put any pressure on that side of your body!” (etcetc).

I get to the house around 9pm, pop a sleeping pill in hopes to ward off the jet-lag, and promptly go to bed. The dogs pile on the bed and we all sleep peacefully in a giant puddle o’ fluff.

The following morning I was woken up by the beagle (name withheld to protect the innocent) who decided to jump RIGHT ON MY SPLEEN.

Ow.

I thought then and there: “I’m going to die. I’m going to die in this bed and these 6 dogs are going to eat my corpse.”

Reluctantly I got up, let them out, looked at my epic bruise (to make sure it didn’t get bigger/change color) and made some coffee.

Spoiler: I didn’t die.

A few days later I decided to dye my hair (as you do).
I chose bright fire-engine red (as you do).

I covered the bathroom in plastic, donned gloves, applied the dye, put a plastic bag over my head, and set an alarm and proceeded to meditate while listening to calming sounds of dog howls alerting everyone in the eastern-time-zone that A SQUIRREL HAS INVADED OUR YARD! WOOF!

After the allotted time, I took the bag off and heard my phone ring. I left the bathroom to get said phone and came back to see THE BEAGLE with her head in the plastic bag….

“Beagle? What are you doing?” she pulled her head out and it looked like she just murdered a rabbit and ate it. Her whole muzzle/face was covered in red dye.

Fuuuuuuuuu…..

Needless to say, she got a shower and I got red hair… and a headache from the whole evening.

 

Moral of the story: Don’t dye your hair when beagles are around.